It was blustery and quite rough today on the North Atlantic . 8 foot swells and a very strong eastern wind. I spent most of the day holed up in my cabin reading and sleeping.

Somehow we got upgraded to a two bedroom suite with a butler who brings the husband PBJ sandwiches every afternoon and me some lavish cheese plate. It’s a nice life

This is the second time I’ve crossed the Atlantic but this time it’s a more relaxed and casual vibe and a bit more luxurious which considering my first trip was on the Queen Mary seems hard to believe.

I’m sitting here on my balcony and it’s hard not to think of what a huge role this ocean played in the lives of so many American families. Millions crossed this ocean voluntarily to change their lives , escape persecution and provide a future for their children and millions crossed this ocean in shackles dragged from their homes and families.

However, in so many cases history is very personal so it’s hard not thinking about my mothers father , my grandfather Alfred Edmund Syvertsen who made this journey alone as a 12 year old boy to join his older brother and sister who were already here. He was an orphan and his brother and sister were the only family he had left. Of course, when 12 year old AE crossed he wasn’t in a 2 bedroom suite. He would have been in steerage. Sharing space with literally a thousand strangers in cramped and dirty quarters in the bowels of the ship. I can’t imagine the fear, loneliness and trepidation he had making that journey in the early year of a new century. But he did make it and he flourished here in the states even after his older brother gave up

and went back to Norway . My grandfather and his older sister flourished in this new world and built lives here. I’m a result of that and it’s hard not to be incredibly grateful as I sit in a suite on a cruise ship eating pbj and think about him and his bravery and diligence. Many years ago I visited Norway and met his sister in law who had come back to Norway with her husband and built their lives again. She told me all about my grandfather and his journey and I couldn’t help think “Thank god he was made of sterner stuff than I “

The Crossing

Several years ago after I retired we decided to take the Queen Mary from NY to Southampton in the UK. One of the first thing we were instructed by the snooty sales agent was that we were on a crossing not a cruise. Lol Apparently cruises are very low brow and crossing well…are not

This time we definitely chose a cruise. While the first time was fun and indeed it did make us feel like extras on Downton Abbey abbey we wanted to have fun. We didn’t want to wear a tux to dinnner or be told when to eat and when to drink.

So today we will set sail on NCL ship The Gem.

The trip starts in NYC and then heads east for 5 nights until we hit the Azores . Brief stop there then on to Lisbon , Cadiz , Sevilla , Malaga , Barcelona, Piza and finally Rome.

Then we will hang out in Italy for awhile. Head to Norway, Ireland,UK and finally I’ll spend a few weeks with my sister in Cyprus

It’s a cruise ..not a crossing.

So last minute stroll through Philadelphia to get some money and a coffee at the WaWa. Walking through Dilworth park where the city has set up a roller disco .

I love this city. I discovered it relatively late in life but now it’s my second city. It’s a city with real personality and a character all it’s own. NC is home for me but Philadelphia has a big chunk of my heart.

All aboard the Keystone express !

I realize that in the past three years I had it better than 99 % of my fellow citizens. I had financial security, a lovely and safe home and was surrounded by a natural wonderland that allowed me to ramble and explore while others had to shelter from the world .

So when I sit down to analyze how the last 2 and a half years impacted me I understand I was very very lucky but still …

I had retired early in 2017 and had already laid out the initial trips I had planned. Transatlantic on the Queen Mary and several months rambling around Europe . It was carefree , unscheduled and for the first time in my life I truly was the master of my own destiny. No meetings , no phone calls , no responsibility. I traveled where I wanted to and how I wanted to . I think I’ll take a freighter from Philadelphia to Auckland. 28 days of just me wandering around a huge working ship , reading , watching and basically seeing the world without internet or cell phones . Two months then in New Zealand exploring from north to south. No schedules , no requirements . Just a rental car and me

A round the world trip by planes , boat, trains, cars and a big cruise ship . A trip that included a flight , a river cruise friends, family visits , revisits to places from my youth like Thailand and Cambodia and from my work like China and Vietnam and finally Hong Kong

We were in Hong Kong when all hell broke lose and we managed to get on the last flight out on American from HK to LA . Of course I never thought that would be the last international flight I would make for three years.

I’m A 65 year old gay man who knows that whatever time I have is counted in years not decades or quarter centuries. So the first thing that began to haunt me was that the worlds clock has stopped but mine hadn’t. The world had come to a stand still but my life clock hadn’t. Suddenly all the things and people I had planned on seeing and experiencing were put on hold but not my life . 1year, 2year, 3year 3 years of things I wanted to do, to live but I was on a big time out while my clock ticked away . I found myself feeling depressed and pessimistic. I. began to drift away from friends and even events I used to love . My husband felt compelled due to his family to stay in Philadelphia and shelter there so we were only seeing each other once or twice a month. I felt isolated and a deep sense that I was losing time I could never recapture.

Secondly , even when your clock stops the rest of the world continues. I never had children, perhaps my biggest regret but I have Godchildren and nieces and nephews who I love like my own kids and while my life was stopped their lives went faster as they negotiated perilous job situations, illness ,loss and new life. I felt disconnected from the people I love more than anything on earth and I was in a time lock I couldn’t overcome. Those three years seemed like a big chunk of time this late in life

In the almost 3 years I’ve been stuck here my 3 god kids have produced 4 kids with a 5th to arrive any day. I haven’t met a single one. Not even the one named after me! So, today I turned my clock back on. Going to start moving at full speed and am determined that I am heading out to the world again and start my life clock ticking and reconnecting to the places and more importantly the people I love and need to reconnect with.

I get the world suffered so much more than I did and it’s a minor thing in the scope of things. So let’s start the clock again and get going !!!

After almost three years of quarantine were finally ready to get out there and start our adventures again. Hope you’ll follow along