You watch a lot of DVDs and read a lot of books when you’re the only passenger on a freighter. When I was in high school I read a lot of James Michener. I liked the way he used intensive research to sort of tell a story about a place and its history. I got he wasn’t Tolstoy but hey I learned a lot. Besides South Pacific is based on a collection of his stories so you know he was doing something right when they take something you wrote and make it into a big musical lol. I remember being at the Iowa Writers Workshop in the 80s and they used to put Michener down as sort of a writer for the masses and not a real writer…until he donated a few million to the program then they fell all over themselves calling him a writer for the people lol Anyhow I digress.   

As I was preparing for the trip I came across the box set of dvds for the 1978 mini series Centennial based on Michener’s novel. Now the novel takes us from prehistoric times to the present of a fictional place called Centennial Colorado. As you can imagine it’s rich in its diversity of characters and situation…I mean several thousand years is a long time lol
The mini series … not so much. 25 hours of programming featuring every mediocre talent of that era. As my friend Frank Menchaca says “people who never let lack of talent get in the way of success”. 
While the roles require a large number of Native Americans there are no Native Americans in the cast. Instead these roles are played by either white guys in really bad 1960 hippie wigs or Latinos who look vaguely exotic. My favorite is Barbara Carrera (born Kingsbury but that’s not that exotic) who plays Indian maiden clay basket . She plays the role as if she’s Miss Arapahoe 1876. Working the campfire like it’s a runway..and looking fierce which since she was an Eileen Ford model and Bond Girl seems natural 

Also featured is the king of 80s mini series Richard Chamberlain as the Scottish mountain man… Now Chamberlain can actually act so between looking smoldering at Babs who he can’t have (or as we found out later maybe he was really checking out Robert Conrad ) he is actually passable . 

However, Raymond Burr , Chad Everett, Andy Griffith, David Janssen, Gregory Harrison, Pernell Roberts , Stephanie Zimbalist and countless other 70 tv stars aren’t. Mostly they look confused or amused 

I have to save special mention for Robert Conrad. Remember him from the Wild Wild West? In Centennial he plays Pasquinell the French Canadian Mountain man with an accent so amazing I had to replay the first episode to really enjoy it. It’s sort of a cross between Celine Dion and a villain from Dudley DoRight ! “We go zee rivar to trap le beaver” 

Yet I found the whole thing totally compelling I dashed down from dinner each night to watch at least one new episode each evening. I found myself not reading or watching Dvds with great films so I could watch another installment of this series. I think it was Noel Coward who said “strange how potent cheap music is”. It applies to bad tv too! I have to say if you find yourself on a freighter with 17 days on your hands definitely get out the DVD player and watch Centennial! Oh I did lie about one thing. There was one Native American in it Chief Dan George For those of you who don’t remember him he was the NA Actor Hollywood always cast for authenticity regardless of the appropriateness of him in the role. He made a lot of money …good for him